Two Sins I Have Long Regretted
“For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.” Psalm 51:3
There is without a doubt, if it were possible to never have committed and if it were possible I would go back and erase, there are two sins which I greatly regret. Of these sins, one makes a man an immediate slave to men, and the other sin leaves lasting marks which scar the very soul and brand the memory. Both of these have lasting effects to varying degrees and most often require a lengthy healing process.
The first sin I will mention instantly made me a slave to men. This sin, at least for me, is the sin of buying and coveting material possessions via credit. This grievous wanting of the physical makes a man labor and toil to the debt of covetousness and greed and idolatry of possessions. It makes a slave of the free, a living servant in bondage to the dead perishable. Whenever God is not trusted upon, a lack of trusting in His sovereignty, one lives in bondage at the hand of man. It is surely a sad thing to continue to be like Adam, trading in the trust and obedience to the Lord for toil. For once we have begun to disregard God’s provisions, taking matters of want into our own hands, we struggle with worry and anxiety regarding our obligations to the bondage of our covetous desires.
The second sin, one yet of a worse kind, is the actions of adultery towards God, the very fornifications before the wife of thy youth. Like the first, this sin too makes a slave of the free, but even more so, brands the mind with smells, feels, sounds, tastes and imagery that can hardly be removed. It grasps deep into the inner man, never having its fill, desiring more and more until literally driving some mad. The thoughts of actions past may haunt at anytime, and cripple the best of intentions; not to mention the relational effects of future friendships and most especially in the marriage to our spouses. Just when we may feel we have gained some victory in some areas regarding this, we are again attacked by the Accuser, him both Satan and the Devil, making the most of our past when we are weakened, tired, or simply arrogant.
Oh that my children will never walk the seductive roads to eternal ruin. Oh that the Lord would first rescue their souls and embolden them with wisdom and resolve to be born again in Christ, to stay in His presence, and be convicted by the Holy Spirit prior to sinning.
Although Jesus Christ died for us while we were yet sinners, often the sin we willfully fulfill has lasting and damaging effects enduring until the very day we die. Let us take heed this day, let sin therefore no longer reign. Keep your diligence, your focus, your position, and your every thought in and with and through Jesus Christ, the Lord and Savior, our Great Redeemer.
“Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight,
so that you may be justified in your words
and blameless in your judgment.
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart.
Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
Let me hear joy and gladness;
let the bones that you have broken rejoice.
Hide your face from my sins,
and blot out all my iniquities.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
and take not your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and uphold me with a willing spirit.
Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
and sinners will return to you.”
Jeremy B. Strang – Foothills of True Grace / As Christ: A Man and Marriage
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